I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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