He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
