If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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