oh god the rape fog is back!
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
