Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
