Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
