i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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