just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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