Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
