I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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