That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
