i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
