it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
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Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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