hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
