let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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