oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
