it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
