I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
