I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't deserve a penis
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
