can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
