As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
