how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
