he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
