all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
