you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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