I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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