i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
