Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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