Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
