He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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