I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
