her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
