Just cropdusted the office
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
