just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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