I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
