You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize