I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
