It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
