I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
