the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
