so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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