And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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