This girl is more easily done than said...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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