dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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