And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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