As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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