He is an equal opportunity slut.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
