another moral hangover. fuck.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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