He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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