yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
P.S. I can't hear my feet
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
