So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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