Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
