i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize