yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
