i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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