i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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