My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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