I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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