is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
