It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
