i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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