he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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