Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
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