GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We're too hungover to prance.
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