Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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